Rapid 7 - Paying It Forward: Giving and Receiving Mentorship in Tech

I’ve never actually seen the 2000 romantic drama Pay It Forward, but the movie’s core idea has stayed with me since I first heard of it:

The best way to repay a favor or good deed is to do one for someone else. You ‘pay it forward,’ and ask that person to do likewise, creating an expanding web of positivity and goodwill.

Cliche as it may sound, it’s served me well over my career. I’ve had many roles over the past 20 years, starting as a junior engineer  and progressing into management. My own mentors and coaches shaped my experiences along the way, contributing to that growth.

In return, I try to do the same for others.

Mentorship vs. coaching

I want to briefly look at ‘mentorship’ versus ‘coaching,’ as they are often conflated. There is certainly overlap, but the approach and impetus differs.

Mentorship involves dedicated guidance and support over time. The mentee drives the relationship, the ultimate goal, and the current focus. The mentor maps a path to the goal, and offers personalized knowledge and experience on a one-to-one basis.

Coaching is a more structured approach,primarily driven by the coach. It normally involves specific skill or knowledge training, and often isn’t personalized; it can be extended to groups with minimal change.

I believe that successful learning relationships operate on a spectrum between mentorship and coaching. Particularly in tech, where so-called ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ skills carry equal weight, the focus is a sliding scale over time.

For this article, I’ll focus on the ‘mentor’ and ‘mentee’ roles for simplicity.

Why do people seek mentorship?

Mentee-mentor relationships are inherently transactional – and that’s okay! The mentee has a goal to achieve, and wants help to get there. So what’s in it for both parties?

For mentees, it’s fairly obvious:

• Skills and experience growth
• Career advancement
• Increased profile and exposure
• Personalized individual guidance

The mentor – wanting to be diligent and accurate with their guidance – sees their own skills and knowledge reinforced. Communication and teaching skills grow. Their ability to elevate others is advantageous for their own career aspirations.

It’s okay to feel good about this – it’s a good thing.

Mentorship and career growth

As you climb the ladder in your career, you will find yourself gaining:

• The ability to handle increasing ambiguity, complexity, and scope
• Knowledge and experience you can share with others
  

Obviously you also have to deliver value, but I see that as a function of the above, plus institutional factors. Your increasing capacity to navigate complex or ambiguous environments, paired with an advanced set of skills, is what propels you from  wide-eyed junior to seasoned veteran.

We’re all walking this path in some form. Juniors often need direction on what to do and how to do it. With more experience, there is less direction needed for ‘how’ and more focus on ‘what’ and ‘why.’ You start to own features and systems, and can guide others.

In higher roles, strategy comes to the forefront as you become more aware of business needs, customer requirements, and wider technical challenges. You’ve gone from ‘change this line of code’ to ‘increase this KPI by 20%’. Ambiguity, complexity, and scope all go up as a result..

In addition to changes in your deliverables, success also becomes measured by how well you can elevate others around you. At Rapid7, we look at leaders to be impact multipliers, meaning they have the capacity to drive impact not only in their own roles, but how they support those around them to be successful.

Additionally, you don’t have to wait to be in an official people leader role to have this kind of impact. Being a mentor and elevating others can happen regardless of where you are in your career journey.

Mentoring someone is an investment in the future. You chart a path to success, act as a role model, and in some ways shape the industry to come.

Getting started

Whether you’re looking to become a mentor – or seeking guidance as a mentee – the keys to getting started are relatively similar.

Seeking the right opportunities

• Take stock of where you have existing relationships to build off of, and ask for guidance while sharing what your goals are for entering into a mentorship relationship. - Let your colleagues and manager know that you’re available. Sharing your goals with your manager can help incorporate your mentor experience into your personal development plan, and they may even have recommendations on how to get started. Colleagues can be great mentors/mentees, and may also be able to help point you in the right direction to connect with someone. Seek opportunities on Slack, Discord, and other community channels. Going beyond your current employer can expose you to different practices and philosophies that exist within the same field or area of focus.
• Attend meetups and conferences to network and find opportunities. The goal of attending an event is often to gain knowledge and share best practices, so this is a great audience for you to find your mentor/mentee match.

Establishing guidelines and expectations

It’s important for both parties to agree on some foundational principles, which for me are:

• Mutual trust and respect
• Adequate investment of time, effort, and care
• Fluidity and flexibility
• Transparency, honesty, and accountability

Maintaining effective mentorships

Let’s look at some other factors to consider and watch for as the relationship evolves:

• Don’t over-prescribe structure or get bogged down in note-taking – keep it light and fluid to encourage maximum flexibility.
• There are no ‘stupid questions’ – don’t apologize as a mentee for asking!
• Leave ego at the door – embrace honest feedback and mutual respect at all times.
• Safety and trust are essential – but avoid getting too personal in ways that hinder your ability to be honest and open.
• Mentorship is a vital tool for managers – but transparency can suffer when the mentee is also a direct report. Peer relationships without these power structures can feel ‘safer’ and encourage better transparency.

Conclusion

When it comes to mentorship, my core point is this:

Helping people is good, and you can (and should) do it.

As a mentor, you have the opportunity to shape someone’s career and experience while galvanizing your own skills and future prospects. Start today, in whatever form you can.

As a mentee benefitting from guidance and support in pursuit of your goals, try not to forget to pay it forward. Find someone to guide and help on their journey, as you yourself have been.

from Rapid7 Cybersecurity Blog https://blog.rapid7.com/2025/01/30/paying-it-forward-giving-and-receiving-mentorship-in-tech/